Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I had run out of hope.

The sadness was still there.

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What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Would you date/marry a guy younger than you? If no, why not?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

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It’s still here.

Be who you already are.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Hi, I’m Jo. My best friend died 2 years ago today. My husband died 6 months later. So, I’m a depressed mess (we were married 28 years) and can’t shake it. Even my Brother is worried. Some days I don’t do anything, and avoid men cause I don’t want to date. Any suggestions? Thanks for reading.

It’s here now, writing to you.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

And the sadness?

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What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of trying and failing.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

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It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

How do you recognize when your mental health might need attention?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.